Poetry

Stricken down they walk away.
Well I'll not wait another day!
I've got a life, opinion, and mind
though all the above you've tried to bind.

I'll not take it any more, I've listened far too long.
I hear you say I'm immature, well kiss my ass you're wrong.
I've listened to your poor me acts, which now I see right through.
You say you'll talk, you say you're listening, well you don't have a clue!

You ask so much, yet little you give.
I'll tell you again, I've the right to live!
You lost your little girl years ago,
but how could I expect you to know?
You're never there when I need to talk,
It's like your love is on a clock.
"Talk to me later" or "I'm busy now" is all I ever hear.
A question or a conversation is marked with certain fear.

There are so many dreams I'd like to pursue,
And for holding me back I say fuck you too.

What's that you say? I've committed some crime?
So sorry, can't listen, I don't have the time.

She is obsessed with beauty, she wants
to carve out its heart and discover how it works,
what it means to live flawless and not have
to lift a finger. She smokes her cigarette and
draws her funny-shaped men all over her algebra book,
dreams of a better life,
of walking in glass slippers and dancing with princes
who will never lose her number.
Day in day out, what does it mean to her
to have to live beyond the pale.
To blindly watch herself slowly disintegrate in the mirror,
growing skinnier and skinnier till bones lose substance
and heart learns to count the beats.
A warped vision before her eyes:
she sees a fat girl, someone no one could ever love,
somebody to make fun of. She forgets
what it means to love herself.
Instead she studies fashion magazines,
scrutinizing those retouched glossy pictures
of wasp-thin models,
trying to find a clue.

Empower me
Read me your book
Hypnotize me
Make no second look
Scold me
Blow dust in my face
Coward
Why can't we see what we want to believe?
Junkie
Why can't we just be trusted?

No need for nepenthe
No need to follow
No need for your drug
I'm feeling too low to get higher

Disturb me
While I am dreaming
Freak me
While I am seething
Seek me
When I am failing

Soldier
Why can't we see what we want to believe?
Junkie
Why can't we just be trusted?

Oh, how I want to scream and shout
The informal icon of my pain and doubt
Isn't even there

Ripping by like a rapid stream,
Hazy silence like a dream,
awakening to the pale morning light,
forgotten the horror of the night.
I will not remember... I cannot forget.
Into my mind it's eternally set.
Daily reminders tear at my heart.
Why did I listen from the start?
Embracing the pain I waste away.
This loathfull debt I can never repay...

I keep a cigar box with corners frayed and lid just holding on.
Its contents being small things I've made and objects that I've found.
An odd-shaped rock, a marble, a feather, are three of many that lasted well.
But the little objects are no better than the stories they could tell.

I held these things so precious once when I was just a boy.
Now in my hand this timeless bunch of memories bring me joy.

I spread the treasures across the table to see what I once found.
I conclude that tomorrow if I'm able I'll walk and search the ground.

Somewhere in that old creek bed or on the hill where I ran,
a memory lies that once said, "find me if you can."

Something there since time began, hidden so none before could see.
But now somehow as if planned, it would be given just to me.

The creases corner my eyes today as I've far from weathered well.
The box's edges also appear that way but we both have stories still to tell.

I'm weathered so like this old box and both of us remember when,
we found the feather and the rock with stories locked within.

So regardless how worn we may seem, the box and I contain the past.
Beyond aged exteriors lies a dream, that memories do not die but last.

sometimes, gently ravaged by errant zephyrs,
rustling autumned leaves fly blithely by
to brand a poet's dying heart,
to drown his screaming sky.
but, as usual, i am blind and deaf
as my poor dumb tongue ignores the theft
of yesterdays, too many,
tomorrows, not enough,

though sometimes gently ravaged
by bluff
and counterbluff.

An aura of angelic
lights ascend from
your perfect form
this is your personality

Yet a red wave
as dark as hell itself
repels the light
This is your anger

A gentle rain
falls upon you
like a beautiful mist
This is generosity

Up goes your umbrella
opened right up wide
blocking out the mist
this is your inability to trust

You are a figure
hiding in the shadows
hoping no one will see
this is your cautiousness

There is a searchlight
trying to find
your dodging self
this is my help

You don't seem to want it
no rain no light no help
none of it at all
and that's just a shame

There is a pretty girl
standing all alone
too damn full of hate
that's just you




dedicated to Veronica

plastic fascination
i have with you
leaking all over my favorite jeans
dripping down my lips
whenever you are around
wasting silent words
in your direction
with the scent of rejection
always close behind.
the watery coffee
pours into your cup
like liquid acid
it burns your lips
she is always there
ready to cool the burn
making the fire more intense
on my side
wonderful silences
bounce off the walls
and i loose myself somewhere in them
maybe for a while
i wouldn't mind...

Your concoction makes me melt
But only if you knew how I really felt
I can understand the disillusions that you have
But only if you can see my aspiration

I can get lost
If I look into your eyes
I fantasize that your presence exists
Maybe it's true; Maybe it isn't

It took one time to get so confused
My body reacts but feels so used
Shaken up the insides of my brain
You make me wonder if I am still sane

Fallacious legends can't explain why
Your eyes desecrate all other forms
Disconnect me from a neural rain
I declare what you can never repair

I can get lost
If I look into your eyes
Just one time
One time

A smile, a tear, a song, or
      a prayer.
I'll be with you
for all the years.
Happy, mad, pain and sorrow
      we will share
all of our tomorrows.
Vows we took and
shall not break,
For our love
can stand a stake.
Our love so strong,
never died young.
Together, whenever
will always be
forever.

The Rage of Passion boils deep inside,
      As each day passes since you left my side.
Struggling, fighting, yearning to be free,
      For that is what my love wishes to be.
Free as the warm breezes on the ocean,
Free as the birds that sing in the tree,
Free as only true love can feel,
      For only one heart can make it real.
Free from within,
Free to fly,
Free from the Heart Felt Storm that rages inside.

There's no such place
in the human race
for an emotionless soul to sit.
There can be no room,
sweep them out with a broom,
those poor fools who just won't give a shit.

It pains me to say,
but there will come a day
that this world will no longer be dreaming.
The time will soon come,
when we fly to the sun
and then run away,
burning and screaming.

"What to do?", you may say,
as you while all your days
spending money,
and time,
on appearing to find
some way through all this hate,
some way through this decay,
some way to avoid fate
some way to only say
"One day more......",

And yet destiny, that improper whore,
Will nail up the coffin,
Throw away the key that could open the door,
And with a twirl of her cape,
she'll run of in the wind,
run off like the water
Run off, damned, and sinned -
with the only one thing you could ever create,
the only thing, though you couldn't maintain it;
your brain, once was sane, now a cesspit.

Let they who never turned away
know that they never sinned.
Never turned away?
Never missed a thing?

Nobody could ever be that way.

Scratch my skin and we bleed the same
Our eyes well with tears in time of pain
Injustices make out hearts shriek "No!"
Sparkling eyes watch a baby start to grow
Respect and honesty lie in the heart
Color and hue play no part
If eyes be the window to the soul
Follow your heart - wherever it may go

When I look at you one thing becomes clear
You mirror my hopes, my dream, my fear
The human race has no winner or loser
Together we are stronger, faster, surer

Social hurdles are not metal or plastic
But peer pressure - subtly elastic
Reach out your soul to my hand and grasp
Let us jointly dismantle the fears of the past

In soiled cities and greasy towns -
Broken promises are passed around,
Or sold as an education
To any with less information.
And the Elders there accept the gold,
Yet faulted glitters once left them cold.
They walk with steeled averted gazes
Through streets filled with starved faces.
Now empty, aching, walking corpses,
They've accepted their emotion's rigor mortis.
The American Dream - it's banners furled,
Is only one part of a dying world.
And money bloodied in drugs and violence
Cannot fill the angry silence
Of skies and water now turned brown
By people who've turned their vision down.
Whom attempt self-healing with fancy cars,
And bigger, cleaner, expensive bars.
And get their dirty hands in off the street,
Where the others are, with naught to eat.
This is the world I have to roam,
This bleeding place, this gutted home.
Increase the concrete! Tear down the green!
Then rape some brains 'til they're scrubbed clean!
Leave me wandering in frustration -
And name me this world's population.
But one thing you won't catch me doing,
Is your eternal, blackened, unlovely screwing.
Rich man do not pity me...
I'm glad I'm not you -
I'm free.

Who shot you?"
"The TV Baby."
        -Drugstore Cowboy


TV Babies
With their cartoon guns
Never believe they hurt anyone.
Cannot believe the pain
Cannot bear the stain
Of reality in their brains.
They don't believe in death.
Love the glorification of sex.
Live life through the TV

Come on everyone dive in,
Into the electrical pulses of life.
Let the brain cells die.
Absorb the ultraviolet light rays,
That the TV conveys.
Believe what the Happy gray box tells you
TV babies.

after the winds of wicked ways
I will stand

after the fears of fickle friends
I will sing

after the tears of bloody nights
I will dance

after the arrows of ugly power
I will walk

after the bombs of beastly men
I will live

after the laws of lynching mob
I will exist

in the fibers of freedom
in the residue of resistance
in the dust of democracy

etching a new coda
for a better country

I will not rest
I will not dream

I have a future.

Where were you when I was cold?
Where were you when I was alone?

Where were you when I was dying?...
Where were you then?

You didn't hear me cry.
You didn't feel the cold metal slide down my arm...
And you didn't see the crimson blood
as it trickled onto the floor.
How could you understand?
how could you possibly know what I was feeling?

You're alive. You've always been alive...
I died when I was born.
And now?... now, I'm a corpse.
A decomposing, rotting, corpse.

Look at me.
Do you see the rats? The maggots?
My entrails dragging on the ground behind me.
Do I make you sick? Do you pity me?
Or do you dread that one day, you too will die.

Does it hurt? Define hurt... No,
no, it hurts more-to live I think,
to go through life believing that night,
inevitably fades into day, and that time,
heals all wounds, but when time doesn't pass,
wounds don't heal, they stagnate,
like water in a still pond.

Besides, my wounds are to numerous to be patched...
even if there were someone to patch them.

The hurt and the pain hidden deep inside
Mind crying and wondering
Was it all a lie?
Tears roll down my face
Trying to wash away that feeling
The one where you feel you've been pushed aside.
After all has been said and done
Why am I the one to feel like this?
Shouldn't you be the one who thinks of me?
Shouldn't you be the one who feels the pain?
All of your lines
All of your smiles
All of your kisses
Shall be set aside
In time.

Liquid pain runs down my face,
I spoke with the devil, I sit in disgrace.
So long entrapped by discontent,
I cannot forgive you, I will not repent!
A blanket of laughter, conceals my screaming.
A splash of reality leaves my pride steaming.
Building to the final disaster,
All my shortcomings I could not master.
Washing away the faulty facade,
Melting through my blockades like acid.
Entrapped I make my final stand,
I cannot surrender to your hand.
A bullet through my broken heart,
Destined from the very start.
A bloody stain on a virgin white sheet,
ending the reign of hate and deceit.

Oh god let me dream
Let me escape,
into something magical
Let me change
into something different
I don't want to be here,
not now
Let me change,
let my creations control me,
not someone else's
Let me dream
Oh god let me dream

Let me dream of
flying through the sky,
not worrying,
not caring,
not regretting
no past, no future
just the present
Let me dream
Let me Fly!
Oh god, Please let me dream!