16 Things (okay, get off my case, everyone…)

1. I have not written a poem in ten years. Most of the poems I wrote ended up getting burned. On purpose.

2. Tobacco smoke disgusts me. I don’t have as much of a problem with marijuana smoke.

3. The first concert I attended was Hank Williams Jr. I was 8 at the time. All I remember is the horrible job the sound crew did. When I was 9 or 10, we went to see the New Kids on the Block in concert at the outdoor Blossom Music Center. All I remember is the chick who passed out before the show started and eating Mr. Hero sandwiches out of a cooler. The first concert I bought tickets to was Def Lepard when I was 16. I broke up with my girlfriend two weeks before the concert and ended up going to it with my mom.

4. I have dated three girls named Angie. I regret dating all three of them. One of them, I regret more than all others, because I lost one of my best friends as a result.

5. I don’t drink as much or as often as one would think I do based on my humor and and Facebook posts. I can count the number of times I’ve been drunk on one hand. That said, it does take very large quantities of alcohol to get me drunk.

6. I spend more time shopping for video games than I do playing them. Yet I continue to buy them.

7. I refer to the owner of the comic book store I shop at as my drug dealer. Hey, $50 a week in comics is still cheaper than heroin, right?

8. In college, I wrote a critical essay about a comic book to antagonize an English professor who made a joke about “juvenile habits” after seeing a copy of David Mack’s “Kabuki” on my desk. (Google it if you are not familiar. Definitely NOT a book aimed at kids.) That professor ended up wanting to read the book I wrote the essay on. Mission accomplished.

9. In 2000, I voted for George W. Bush. (Sorry, I could not vote for any ticket with Joseph Lieberman on it, let alone a Gore/Lieberman ticket.)

10. I attribute my surviving high-school to a well-worn cassette of The Cure’s “Wish” album.

11. I attribute several of my high-school classmates surviving to the fact that I did not have access to guns as a youth.

12. I currently own six record players and one 8-track player. I have, since the new year, purchased eight new vinyl records, including new releases from The Offspring and Panic at the Disco.

13. I root for the bad guys.

14. I know how to bake and cook. I’m just too impatient to do all the work when I know I can just buy it in the freezer section ready to nuke.

15. It is really challenging to come up with one sex-related item to put on this list when I use Facebook for professional purposes…

16. I once spent four days working as a second-shift telemarketer. I quit when I realized that the call that woke me and had me screaming about how we were on the do-not-call list at 9:30 AM was from someone on the other shift.