“How Sleeping In Class Can Save the World” by Vertigo Xi’an Xavier

"Baaa." "One thousand six hundred and fifty-two."
"Baaa." "One thousand six hundred and fifty-three."
"Baaa." "One thousand six hundred and fiftyyyyyyyyyzzzzzzzzzzz...





At forty degrees below zero, you think that school would'a' been called off. But, no. We'd already used all of our snow days for the year, and nobody who worked at the school offices wanted to work extra days, meaning we had to come to school. Making it worse, the school's climate control system had shorted out during the recent blizzard.

So, not only was it freezing outside, but the AC was running full blast inside, and there was nothing anybody could do about it. They (the people who worked at the school) had said that we could wear our coats to class, but lucky me, my sleeve had gotten stuck inside the locker door, and it wouldn't open.

Well, I'd made it to my last period study hall when I began to get tired. I decided to lay my head on the desk to try to conserve my energy. Big mistake...





...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...





"Krack!" I woke with a start. Looking around the room I saw that ice covered the walls, desks, floor, chairs, and everything else in the room. All the other students were still in their seats, frozen solid. I got up to leave the room, momentarily faltering. My joints were stiff and my equilibrium was off balance.

I went to some of the other classrooms, but they were all in the same state. I knew others might be melting soon, so I decided to go and get medical help.

I thought I could get in my car and drive to the hospital to find some doctors, but after exiting the building and walking into the parking lot, I saw that all the cars were gone. So I walked to a nearby house. It was empty, just like every other house on the block. I then walked to where I remembered the hospital to be, but all I found was a mini-mall. I decided to steal a car, but not one "car" in the lot had wheels. "Delusions, after-effects of being frozen," I thought to myself.

I hopped into the driver's seat of a vehicle called a "Moller Merlin 8000," broke open the ignition box, stripped and twisted the red and blue wires, and was on my way...





...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...





Even though I was driving a wheel-less jet-car that could have passed as the Batmobile, I still believed everything was the same. However, after learning that the hospital, my neighborhood, and the police station had all been turned into mini-malls, I knew I wasn't in Kansas anymore.

Finally, I decided to enter one of the mini-malls and try to find a security guard. First thing I noticed was that none of the stores had names: They all had serial numbers. Next, I noticed that everybody was walking in a straight line, entering the same stores, buying the same items, et cetera, like a human conveyer belt. Thirdly, I noticed the obvious lack of security.

As I slipped into line behind one of the "customers," I began to ask him about my observations. I was cut off short before I could finish, though. "Shh," he said. "Do what I do or you'll be absorbed by the Collective Intelligence."

"What do you mean..," I began.

"Just do it!" he shout/whispered. I did as he said.

When we got to his "car" he said, "Okay, you can talk now."

"No, you talk. Begin with an explanation of what the hell is going on around here!" I shouted.

"You know absolutely nothing of what's going on!"

"No."

"Okay, you're obviously what we call a 'free-minder.' Somebody who hasn't been brain washed and placed under the control of the Collective Intelligence. The CI was originally a computer-based virus designed by the military to take control of the minds of enemy soldiers, but it backfired. 'Bout two years back the scientist who designed the virus used it to convert himself into a living computer. He then took control of the virus and shaped the world into what you see before you.

"Only a few of us were able to escape being sucked into that maniac's arcade game. We're waiting until we can find a way to stop the CI, then we're attacking their HQ." I still stared at him blankly. "Hello, it's 2026, what's yer story?"

"Uh, I woke up in a popsicle called Washington High School."





...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...





His name was Flame, Nick Flame. Although in his mid sixties, he could have passed for forty. He was well built with dark hair going gray. He had an even, slightly raspy voice with a British spy style accent, reminiscent of Roger Moore. Together, along with two dozen other people, we had to stop a government-created, computer-based germ with the ability to control minds. Nooo problem.

My name was Xavier, Vertigo Xi'an Xavier. I fell asleep in study hall and woke up a 220 pound ice cube. Worse still, I woke up 32 years in a future where everywhere I looked there was a mini-mall. Not only did I have to save the world, I had to find a way to get back to my own time.

According to Flame, the government told everyone that complications with radiation levels and radon gas poisoning had killed everyone in the school. However, his band of rebels believed that the school was the headquarters for the CI. They believed the government had frozen the school, trying to stop a leak of a virus-prototype that could not be controlled. He said that since I did not have a coat on, my body temperature was probably lower and my somewhat compacted, curled up position had permitted me to thaw out more rapidly. That's why I was still alive.

The Rebels believed that the best way to stop the CI was to cut off its power source. Problem was, it had to be done from inside the school. It was decided that the entire group would attack from the front to draw fire, while three of us snuck in, found the CI's source of power, and shut it down. The team was made up of Flame, a man named Luceno, and myself, for I knew the layout of the school better than any of them. We would attack at dusk...





...Bang! Bang! ZAPOW! Boom! PZZZZZZT! Crash! YAIEEEEeee! Zap! SKKZIPPPT!...





We entered the school through the auto shop garage doors just as the attack began. Since we were already on the second floor (the school was built into a hill), we decided to check all the rooms with computers up there first. The writing lab was empty and there were no signs of recent activity (other than melting). As we entered the library, we looked out the windows. Our guys were getting slaughtered. We knew that if we did not win this time now, all of humanity was doomed.

Since we hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary upstairs (other than a few hundred half-frozen dead bodies) we headed downstairs. After checking the offices and still not being detected, I began to worry. It was then that I noticed a humming sound following us. "Shh...What's that sound?" I asked Flame.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Luceno?" Luceno didn't say anything, but suddenly aimed his weapon at Flame.

"He's CI!"

"BAM!"





...AAA! Zing! KAPOW! Bam! AARGH! Bzzzzzzit! YAAA! How Do You Stop Them?!...






After I picked up Luceno's weapon and Flame reloaded his, we were on our way. We checked the rest of the classrooms that I knew had computers in them, but we still didn't find anything. We knew that we had been detected by the CI, so we had to hurry.

I did not remember any other classrooms having computers in them, and we still hadn't found the CI's core system, so Flame and I decided to split up. He would take the top floor and I would take the bottom, searching every nook and cranny until one of us found the CI.

I started off in the business wing of the building and began to work my way down towards the main stairs. Nothing, same as the study halls, art wing, auditorium, gymnasium, and the restrooms. Flame was just coming down the stairs as I was going to go look for him. "Nothing up there," he said.

"Where could it be?" I asked.

"Maybe it isn't here at all," he said. "Maybe this was just a trap."

"Or..," I said as I looked toward the cafeteria. "They could hide anything in there."

"Lets go!"





...KaPow! WHAM! TaZing! YAIEE! ;rebel;terminated; PZZZZZIT! Crash! BZZAOW!...





We tore apart ovens, freezers, cash registers, and every other machine in the kitchen until finally, we were down to one last freezer. Slowly, I pulled the door open. A blast of energy came firing out, pinning Flame to the wall. I quickly pushed the door from another freezer into the beam, allowing the metallic surface to send the beam back to its source inside the box. Cautiously, I peered around the door into the freezer.

Inside, I saw hamburger meat, fish fillets (from the biology labs, no doubt), tomato sauce, frozen pizzas, and a human head. Where the neck should have ended, wires began. They ran off to somewhere in the back of the freezer. The energy beam was coming from the mouth. A few seconds later, the beam shut off, the mouth closed, and the eyes opened. Then it spoke.

"Thank you for bringing the Rebels here, Xavier."

"Wha..."

"Please, don't tell me that you haven't figured it out yet. I let you escape so that you would lead the Rebels here to their doom!"

"Yes, now as you stand here, open-mouthed, going into shock, the rest of the free-minders are being absorbed into my Collective Intelligence." I had moved around the freezer door to get a better look at the head. "For aiding me in such a predictable manner, your reward will be a quick death," it said as another beam of energy shot out of its mouth.

Before it could hit me, however, I ducked and swept out with my foot, side-swiping the head, sending the blast into last week's mashed potatoes. "Predict this!" Then the beam stopped, and the light coming from the freezer dimmed and shut off.

Flame came crawling out from around the freezer, with a pulled electric plug in his hand.

"We...missed...step...one." he said with a slight smile. We had won!





...KAPOWZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...





After disconnecting the head from the wires, I took it and helped Flame out of the school. The rest of the Rebels had already gathered near the doors. Someone took Flame and we returned to the base. Using what medical equipment they had there, they got Flame and the other injured troops into stable conditions. After seeing that everyone was okay, I went outside.

Since the CI virus was no longer controlling everybody, people were wandering the streets with absolutely no idea of what had happened or where they were. I knew that it wouldn't take long to get life into some semblance of order.





...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...





AfterWord

Right about now, you're probably wonderin' how I can be here now if I was still stuck in the future. Well, that's a story for another day...so for now...lets just say...

To Be Continued...