“Elegy to a Wasted Morning OR Going Nowhere” by Jacob King

I have:
Name,
Social Security Number,
Date of Birth,
and Incident ID Number
(by the way: what the fuck does
"Incident ID Number" mean anyway?)

I lack:
Username,
Password,
PIN,
and Previous E-Mail Address

I offer:
Current E-Mail Address,
Mother's Maiden Name,
First Pet's Name,
High School Mascot,
Blood type,
and as much patience as I can muster
(which admittedly is not much)

And there is
NOTHING
that the
Customer Service Representative
can do for me!

Her Manager
is equally
inept;
leaving me to question
whether or not her eulogy
will be recorded
for training purposes.