“Recovery” by Colleen Redman


I wake cold turkey like clockwork
to the sound of your car in the driveway
Solitude is the fix I want to be alone with
but I fear the confinement
and my tolerance for abandonment is low

 

I try not to think
about the clutter in the basement
or the rain washing foundations away
I recreate my life like puzzle
Is everyone safe in their place?

 

I count the hours I’ve slept
like an addict counts pills
and then loses track

 

Sometimes I fall back to sleep
and imagine I’ll never wake up
or I stare out the window
at the tree losing leaves
and wait for an urge to take shape

 

The unexpected poem
like a dream just recalled
is an escape route
that gets my attention

 

It’s the secret life I depend on
and the recovery I faithfully follow
It’s the mystery I was made
to be hooked on

 

 

 

 

 

Colleen Redman writes and provides photography for The Floyd Press newspaper in Virginia. Her poems have appeared in Mothering Magazine, We’moon Journal, Floyd County Moonshine, and Artemis Journal. Online publications that have featured her poetry include Della Donna, Poetry24, and Clutching at Straws. She blogs daily at looseleafnotes.com. “Dear Abby, How can I get rid of freckles?” was her first published piece at the age of 11.