“I am a Victim of Cell Phone (a homage to Allen Ginsberg)” by George Anderson


When I'm eating lunch in the office breakroom I hear them
     loud and clear,
"Chrissy said that Lori told her that Ashley said that her
     boyfriend said and blah blah blah!"
When I'm standing in the grocery checkout line with peanut
     butter, jelly and breadloaf the woman behind me yaks,
"Honey, did you find out how much the guy wanted to put in
     the new kitchen? HOW MUCH?!"
Crossing the street on my afternoon walk
I must dive for safety from a woman SUV driver gabbing into
     one of those things in her ear,
followed by a city cop doing the very same thing he should be
     ticketing the nimrod ahead for.
They're everywhere! I can't escape them!
Business deals, pillow talk, hubby-girlfriend word fights.
People forcing me to listen in on the most intimate moments of
     their personal lives when it's really none of my business.
The end is here! God save us all!
The world has turned into one giant phone booth!